Film Review: Jack and Jill

There was a point, sometime in the mid-90s, when Adam Sandler was considered funny. After seeing Jack and Jill it’s hard to fathom that Mr. Sandler even knows what the word funny means or what comedy is.

There has arguably never been a mainstream release as insulting as this one . It insults every level of society. It’s insulting to people’s intelligence to think for even a second that this would be funny to anyone. It’s insulting to anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of films and film-making and it’s insulting to different races as the film is unabashedly racist. Yes, of course every Mexican person is called Juan or Jose and they all snuck across the border. Saying “just kidding” doesn’t make it alright, just like saying “no offense” before calling someone’s wife a crossbreed between Gary Busey and a back alley abortion doesn’t give you Carte blanche. That’s offensive, plain and simple, like this film. Except they’re not really trying to be, this is just woefully inept film-making. It looks so cheap, there’s a spatial disconnect whenever Sandler is pulling double duty in a scene (he plays both title characters). The camerawork and editing are uninspired and amateurish. They’re obviously cutting corners so more money can go to Sandler and the celebrity cameos. Seriously, Sandler must’ve helped Johnny Depp bury a body, because he shows up for a brief, unfunny cameo wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt.

Oh, and if you thought Al Pacino just had a cameo then you are completely mistaken. He’s basically the main driving force of the film as Jack is trying to get him to star in a commercial, using Pacino’s ridiculous infatuation with Jill to his advantage. Seeing Pacino destroy his legacy is nothing short of heartbreaking. Here you are watching a man literally put a price on his dignity. Him running around Times Square naked, covered in his own fecal matter would be less embarrassing and depraved than his role here. The other actors are more or less just there. Sandler isn’t even trying, casting himself as a wealthy guy living in a big house with a hot wife. Asshole. The staple side cast is terribly unfunny, especially Nick Swardson. The man simply isn’t funny and he shouldn’t get any more work. Sandler’s kids mostly look like they’re reading from a teleprompter and in a daring move to mask the blatant racism, one of the kids is Indian, except they make racist jokes to that effect. The film even fails at that. If there’s one bright spot then it’s nice to see that Tom Cruise let Katie Holmes go outside and get some fresh air. She seems to enjoy herself, at least a little. Alas, no one is funny or likable, Jill especially as she’s grating one’s nerves within seconds. Somehow, though, the whole thing keeps you awake for every excruciating minute of its run time.

When it finally reaches its predictable, sappy, emotional shadow of a catharsis (because every comedy has to have one regardless of whether the characters are even remotely likable or if it’s earned) you’ll probably already have killed yourself. If you haven’t, then the Dunkin’ Donuts commercial featuring Al Pacino rapping will do away with you with its insane badness. Speaking of which, Jack and Jill features the most blatant product placements in a long while. The main plot revolves around the doughnut company’s advert, there are ponderous extreme close-up pans across Sony products, Sandler for some reason chugs several bottles of Pepto-Bismol and Coca-Cola bottles are perfectly placed with the logos facing the camera. Product placements can be done well, when it’s natural, because all of these things exist in our world (ordering a brand of beer makes so much more sense than ordering “beer” and sports arenas will be plastered in ads) but it’s just so amazingly obvious here and ends up being very off-putting.

Final Verdict: Jack and Jill doesn’t even work as a stimulating display of colors. It’s so physically painfully unfunny that it will shake your belief in the human race. That’s if you’re still alive at the end of it.

Note: This is Placey, the placeholder bunny. He’s here, signifying  zero stars, until we can get our own original bunny. So don’t get too attached.